How many times have we used the excuse, “that is not the way I was raised”, or “that’s not how my parents did it”, even “I learned from my parents”? How long do you think you can use that group of excuses? How long can we live in the past, thinking we can make it to the future?
I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father that mentally abused his women and in turn they would mentally abuse me. I grew up with the thought that I would never be worth anything. I would and could never amount to much more than the trash I was. The words resounding in my ears, “you are so stupid, you are fat, you are so ugly”. These words remained n my heart for many years until God shined a light on my life.
I played the game of bouncing from man to man, getting married just to hold him down; which proved to not have much of a hold. We filed for divorce less than a year into our wedded bliss with our two-year-old son. But, Christ turned him back around. We decided to try again, but we split a couple more times after that always coming back to the feeling of one another’s touch.
After several years of hurting one another and not setting a good example of how a home should operate, God gave us a church family. This family shined His light on us and showed us how marriage should really be and what the home life should look like. We learned more about one another and discovered that we grew up in virtually the same household types and had no idea of what a true-love home should look like. Through the Bible Studies and Teachings of other examples of a Christian home, we learned to reflect our love more honestly and to be true to ourselves and God.
We are about to celebrate 20 years of marriage and are more in love today than we were when we said “I do”. Our unfaithfulness, fighting, and pain has brought us closer together and deeper in love than we could have ever imagined. We are the ones in our families that will defeat the odds and the divorce demon that lingers over our families. We are the ones that will fight against the pattern of divorce that follows our family lines. The buck stops here!
We are showing our children that you can fight and you can have disagreements and still be in love and you can still come back to one another after a hateful sword has flown off your tongue and apologize and offer restitution for such.
So, don’t use the excuse that it was how you were taught. If you have moved out of your childhood home and you are living on your own then grow up! Become your own person and take responsibility for your actions, even the failures. Fight for God’s plan. Fight against the worldly ways! I know you can win!